Special Exposure Wednesday

Have you ever heard of "No-Shave November"? No? Maybe "Novembeard"? It seems that my older son was celebrating them both. His younger brother enjoyed having "hands on" the result over Thanksgiving.

Will he keep the beard or not? It is undecided. I personally vote for a goatee or "fu man chu".

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Monday, Monday

Sometimes Mondays are hard. Sometimes Tuesdays are hard. My boy does not like to let the weekend go. When he was having a terrible time at school (two schools ago), he had such troublesome stomach pain in the mornings. This carried on until we finally got his school switched. (That was like going to court and will be for another post!) But even though we have had his stomach completely checked out, that morning trouble still reappears, but in a much milder form. Usually on Monday mornings.

I have good reason to believe that his current school is not stressful. I believe that he has some general dread that comes with Monday, just like it does for a lot of people. The weekend is just too much fun and school is . . . not. It’s school. When he has these episodes and goes on with his day, he later reports being fine. Once, though, we attached his staying home to a test day! Sometimes he is able to be persuaded that Monday is not half bad. Monday is a great day to buy lunch at school, as opposed to making his own. What is served? A huge slab of chicken fried steak and two big scoops of mashed potatoes topped with gravy. Sounds like a good Monday to me.

I adopted a comedy routine for the drive to school on Mondays and some Tuesdays. It is me pretending to be Super Nanny to him. It usually sends him into fits of laughter because I fixate on his grooming, throwing in lots of references to the objects in his nose and the whiskers on his chin. My pitiful British accent makes him snort and gasp for breath, while begging me to stop as we slide into the drop-off line at school. I congratulate myself on his happy glance back at me as he shuts the door. I thought I was going to have to pull out the routine this morning, but he stopped me, saying, “No, Mom, really . . . ,“ and he changed the subject. I guess he knows what I am up to and if he needs it. Or maybe my routine is that bad!

Christmas Card 2010

Snowflake Wishes Noir Holiday

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An Outstanding Advocate

A few months ago, I had the opportunity to hear a dynamic speaker at a conference. He had more energy than anyone I had seen in a long time. Just watching his animated presentation was highly entertaining, and then he mentioned his ADD in passing, which I figured was part of his package! His positive approach in advocating for all people with disabilities (or "possibilities", as he likes to say) to be employed was contagious. His premise is that there is no one who can't be employed, and he illustrated with an unbelievable story.

As a former special ed teacher, he was accustomed to looking for each student's strengths. He needed to find a job for a nonambulatory, nonverbal guy. His strength or ability? Blinking. That is literally all he could do. He studied this guy's likes and dislikes, and found that he loved loud, noisy places. Patrick, the speaker, found him a job in a busy copying center, where with a switch, powered by a blink, he could run copiers and collate! Imagine that. This man actually had to lie on the floor because of his disabilities, but he thoroughly enjoyed running his copier with his switch. Amazing.

Patrick Schwarz, the speaker, has books to his credit and has very unique ideas for the inclusive classroom. He also described several brilliant ways of helping kids transition to the next school. (That was my favorite part, since he took a kid who hated change to his new high school several times. He played basketball there with him with no one around, made sure he bought him a drink from the machine, and slowly introduced him to staff and classrooms. Voila! It was a beautifully smooth transition.)

One controversial idea he had was to always reward with the student's (or person's) passion. He was so emphatic on this topic. He told all about a noncompliant student who loved whales. They could get him to do nothing until Patrick discovered this love. Every positive behavior was then rewarded with a whale stamp or a chance to work the whale puzzle, and he blossomed into a very cooperative, hard working student. People I talked to wondered, though, if that would just further an obsession that might need to be extinguished or was inappropriate. I say if the behavior is undesirable enough, bring on the reward. What do you say?

You can check out Patrick Schwarz's website here.

Got hat?

(Bangs like hers.)


I’ll start off with a little joke to make myself feel better. What’s the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut? Answer: About two weeks. If that is the case, then I have a little more than a week to go. Who knew that my last-minute decision to switch from the side swept bang to fringe bangs would end up looking like a kindergartener did the job out on the back playground when no one was looking? Yikes! I must admit, I am the one to blame, though, for not clarifying length. I'll show you a picture. In about 3 months.

It is nice to have a friend who cares about one’s feelings about one’s hair. Neighbor Friend knew about this and sent a quick email, “Is the hair any better?” “No. I still look like I’m in third grade.” (At least that was about 3 grades worth of improvement.) The hair really does need to grow. Now.

N just grinned a very bemused grin at me and said, “Mom! You look a lot . . . . younger?” Yah--as in elementary school.

Peace Out at the Library

Does this make you think of anything or make you feel a certain way? Oh, it does me! It pretty much takes my breath away , makes my heart beat fast and I feel giddy with excitement. It makes me think of the very first library I can recall spending time in. I must have been about 4 or 5 years old, and going to this place caused such a rush for me. I believe I loved books before I could read. Then, when the "decoding" began to happen, the library became even more of an exhilarating experience. Getting those books, carrying them home and poring over them became my joy and solace.

I loved to read so much that as the older sister, I imposed “read aloud time” upon Baby Sister. She appreciated it some. But not when I demanded that she warn me before she fell asleep, so that I “would not waste my breath”! We still laugh about that. Bringing my children into the hallowed stacks at the library was a great delight to me. I ADORE children’s books and did not mind reading most of them over and over again.

Because of my undying love for the library, it causes me no small amount of distress that my younger son does not love reading. Oh, he loves the library alright. He will pull great tomes off the shelf and beg to check them out. If I am in a generous mood, I let him do it, BUT they never get touched. He does okay with some of the “True Books” (nonfiction, interesting), but he never reads for pleasure. Sniff, sniff. I would love to change this. We have had silent reading time as a family, read aloud time, etc., but it just has not stuck. N is a good reader, but it is not his passion. Perhaps it is because of the push in elementary school for points and prizes (also known as AR) that did it. There was a lot of pressure to read a lot of books.

I feel at home in the library and hours can pass before I realize it. The magazines, the Consumer Report, the cookbooks . . . . ah, the possibilities are endless! I have also been known to secure a study room when I have too much to do. I can become undistracted here, make my lists, get my head straight, read a magazine, make a plan, and emerge a new woman.

In fact, I think I’ll go there right now. I think just sitting on one of those black stools would do wonders for me, but I rarely see one anymore . . .

Special Exposure Wednesday

I wanted to capture the end of our autumn leaves and also some flags from Veteran's Day last week. Of course, I had to squeeze "Dimples" in here, too











Check out more great photos here.

P.S. I have been looking around for blogs about other teens and young adults with special needs and have found precious few. Do you know of any?